Organized Chaos


A weekly column by Citizen Managing Editor Jim Perry.
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5/21/2016 Seldom will anyone accuse me of being overly religious. Few are the times I’ve been told I attend church services too often. And rare is it for me to argue religion. Politics? Sports? The price of tea in China? All are fair game for argument’s sake. But I try my best to give rel...read more
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5/14/2016 I must apologize. I cannot help but think of her. Pam Dawson, virgin school nurse from Winchestertonfieldville, Iowa. Played by Babe Bennett, who was being played curvaceously — it’s a real word; dictionary.com told me so — by Wynona Ryder. Lost? Break out the GPS. You will lear...read more
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5/7/2016 Her standard reply is a mere four words. Not four letters, mind you. Four words. “I’m not your mother.” With that, my wife dismisses the question, “What would you like for Mother’s Day?” One of these days, when I am feeling bold, I will take heed to her comments. I will get her...read more
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4/30/2016 Twenty-five years. One quarter of a century. No. Not that. Not the when I was fitted for bifocals. Twenty-five years ago Tuesday. April 26,1991. The day Oologah was hurled into the national picture. And I went along for the ride. It was a Friday. I always forget the day bec...read more
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4/23/2016 A sad moment came this week from social media. “Had to say goodbye to my childhood fur pet today. Dixie had a good 13 years out on the ranch. She was always there when I went to my parent’s. It’s going to be very different without her there to guard the house.” It made me think o...read more
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4/16/2016 To this day, I regret our decision. To this day, I know we made the proper choice. Happy birthday, Mom. Eighty-seven? Wow. It seems forever ago you sat in a hotel room in Stillwater and stunned us by saying, “I think I am going to move to Perkins.” “Are you crazy?” was my immed...read more
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4/9/2016 (Editor’s Note: This column first appeared in this space on April 9, 2011 and has been updated. Forgive the repetition but it’s Masters Week and I am glued to my television.) “That’s … that’s destined for the waatuh!” I can close my eyes and hear Ben Wright’s cockneyed voice. An...read more
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4/2/2016 Five-oh-nine in the PM. Central Standard Time. That is the time, my friends — Saturday is the date — the University of Oklahoma will play Villanova in the semifinals of the 2016 NCAA Men’s Basketball Championship. The winner will take on the University of North Carolina — can you ...read more
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3/26-2016 Happy birthday, son. I know this is random. And I know it’s still four days until your 28th. But happy birthday, just the same. Your sister turns 30 a mere 15 days after your birthday. Please remember and send her at least a wish. You know she will give you the dickens if you do...read more
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3/19/2016 If only I had a rototiller. The law has been laid down. Now that the sun is shining and spring has arrived, the wife is ready to return to the gardening days. In other words: the wife is ready for me to return to the gardening days. The truth be known: I’m ready. Please don’t tell ...read more
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3/5/16 Tired of being tired? Here’s a piece of advice for you: Avoid political advertising. Shhh. I know. Political advertising is good for newspapers. But really? Said Trump: “Rubio has big ears.” Said Rubio: “Cruz is a liar.” Said Cruz: “Hillary is a phony.” Said Hillary: “Sanders s...read more
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2/20/2016 One thousand seven hundred twelve guns. Zero Budweisers. Does this sound like a fair shake to you? The Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation on Wednesday announced the number of gun carry license applications for Oklahomans between Nov. 30, 2015 and Feb. 1, 2016. A number appr...read more
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2/13/2016 Baseball. Let’s repeat it as one: “Baseball.” Don’t you feel better now that you have uttered that simplistically created word? Doesn’t the very thought of baseball make you more relaxed? It does me. Today, for the first time since last fall, I again will be joined with baseba...read more
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2/6/2016 Two years — or is it three? — later, I think my hearing has returned. What’s that you say? Being good neighbors, we were, when a few years back we sent our RSVP and attended a Super Bowl party hosted by our younger neighbors. Did I mention they were younger than us? And with chi...read more
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1/30/2016 I kicked them. Not out of anger, mind you. Kicking is the way the scales in our master bedroom are activated. The digital reading told me “zero,” which meant I could step onto the scales. I kicked them. XX hundred and bleepity-bleep pounds, they read at second look. Worth kick...read more
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1/23/2016 They jokingly called it “Baptist lent.” Even though they were not very Baptist. But each February, I recall, my parents went teetotaler on me. Not one drop. It truly meant little to me at the time although my buddies and I knew that was not the month to sneak a pull or two from ...read more
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1/16/2016 My son spent many days of his youth on the golf course. As such, he learned to chisel. “Chisel,” according to dictionary.com, is “a wedgelike tool with a cutting edge used for cutting or shaping wood, stone.” Another definition reads “to get (something) by cheating or trickery.”...read more
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1/9/2016 We were told in advance. We paid heed. David Crawford, the man we would be umpiring with that day, was something special. Southwestern Conference. Plenty of college baseball in Texas. A real pro, we were told. We looked forward to working with him, my partner and I. We expected ...read more
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1/2/2016 She leaned closely and got a kiss. “Happy New Year,” the wife whispered to me. “In 14 minutes,” was my snarky response. And so it has come to this. Already. Oh, New Year’s Eve, how I miss you. Well. Come to think of it. Not. Really. How to go from Party Animal to Party Pooper...read more
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12/26/2015 My 59th year dawns Friday. I really should do something about it. The question: what? I don’t smoke, so quitting is out of the question. I might promise to get into better physical condition. But who’s kidding who? I could vow to lose weight but that would end on New Year’s Da...read more
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12/19/2015 With apologies to John Hughes and Chevy Chase and Beverly D’Angelo and others in a wonderful cast of a wonderful film. “Lotta sap in here! Mmmm ... Looks great! Little full, lotta sap.” With that, Chevy Chase, aka Clark Griswold, cut the ropes surrounding the “Griswold family Ch...read more
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12/12/2015 I was trying to be of assistance — I know: hard to believe — to another Oklahoma State University football fan. I offered to handle their camera and take their picture outside the old stadium at Baylor University. A woman and her friends photo bombed us long before photo bombing ...read more
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12/5/2015 Silver bells. Silver belles? An email this week began, “Now that you’re in full holiday swing at the newspaper ...” It made me ponder. “Full holiday swing?” Am I truly there? Do I truly want to be? I have not sipped any nog. I have not purchased a single gift. I’ve not kissed...read more
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